Blogs

It is 16 days into the next year. I have been in completing mode since November. I have finally felt in my body the idea that outside environment impacts inside my body. My partner, Sheila, and I have redone our home, partly due to her having her massage office in the home. WOW. My home feels amazing to me, I want to be there, the space is open and clean. There is space to dance. Space to read. And no clutter.

As I travel across america, visiting family for the holidays, I also revisit all those family feelings that I have put in the back closet since my last visit.

Today a 15 year old gay boy was buried in my hometown. He took his life, and his suicide note revealed that he couldn't face the bullies at school any more.

I feel sad as I'm writing this. And angry.

In the press, people are berating bullies and calling for schools to punish them more. However, this is not a solution. The bullies are not the problem.

People do not bully others because it makes them feel good. Bullies bully out of pain and suffering. They hurt too. We will not resolve the bullying issues by adding more pain, shame, and punishment to any person involved.

The second tip I have for new parents:

Children don't need to be punished. Ever.

Here's why:

When a child has done something 'wrong' (like broken something, hurt another person, acted dangerously) the real results of their action are sufficient to teach them about life.

Children don't enjoy upsetting or hurting someone else, especially their parents. When you are upset about their behaviour, they know that right away. They don't feel good.

If they've hurt another child, they will witness the pain they have caused when the other child cries. They won't feel good.

A friend visited me with her newborn baby girl last week and asked me: What are the key things you want every new parent to know?

As I listened to my responses, I thought: Hey, these would be great for the blog! And so here's 'part one' of my response...I'll add the others over the next few weeks. Please let me know what you think!

What I think every parent needs to know:

Despite her awesome telepathic capabilities (e.g., she can let me know in which area of the house she wants her fort made), Lucy has also mastered a communication skill that most people haven’t. She communicates until she’s understood. Instead of retreating, sulking, attacking or whimpering, she uses her meows and body language to persist until her point is made. Clean my litter box. I’m fine, just snoozing and not really available at the moment. Open the door.

     Taking responsibility involves noticing the connections between events, especially those that happen three or more times, which indicates a trend.  It allows you to open to discovery over and over and to reset the juicy quotient of your close relationships.