Blogs

     I attended a lecture yesterday by Robert Ketchell, a lifetime practitioner of Japanese gardening. I was immediately captivated by his opening statement that gardening is an underrated skill with vast implications for healing our relationships with each other and the planet. He then went on to outline the principles of Japanese gardening that can be adapted to Western gardens, such as arranging empty space, using asymmetry of materials to create movement and including the viewer as part of the garden.

     Is your new relationship already doomed? There’s a lot of press lately about brain chemistry and the likelihood that the sexual chemistry of ALL relationships fades fast. Do you believe it? Here’s some new research that aligns with our experience.

     How many times have you seen a variation of this statement? It often appears in the PR statement after a disaster. I saw it the other day in a student’s post about a relationship disagreement. When I used to read it, I THOUGHT I knew what the person meant.

Today the sun is shining and I'm feeling sad.

I'm running a story in my head that I'm overwhelmed with life. New house, lots of friends, family, career....

Pause to read what I just wrote....As I read that list, I'm smiling to myself. I'm complaining about having a new house, lots of friends, family and a career?!! Really blessings abound.

I wonder what is really going on for me?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I'm letting my breath drop and slow.

   I’m appreciating one practice I’ve learned from Gay that has produced enormous vitality and connection with others. He speaks in a way that takes responsibility for his choices and consciously avoids victim-speak. For example, he just doesn’t say, “have to…,” as in “I have to go to the dentist this morning.” Instead, he says, I’m choosing to go to the dentist now,” or, “I’m about to get in my car to go see the dentist.”

     I was coming out of the bank the other day as several people were coming in, and I paused to hold the door open for them before exiting.  It felt totally natural (and actually fun to great each person), although I was raised to expect men to do this and to wait rather impatiently until they did.

My four year old has awoken the last five mornings wanting to be re-born. The game goes like this:

She hides under the bed sheets, and I pretend that I'm pregnant. And then pop! she surfaces with bright eyes and a big grin and I get to welcome her to the world.

I've been saying things like this:

     Today was the first time I wasn’t facilitating seminars in the last eleven days. Every training sequence opens new learning for me. In fact, I think my commitment to growing and expanding along with the group gives an essential boost to the deep exploration that is possible for participants. I’m joining my intention to collaborate with theirs. My ongoing commitment to collaborate and live in harmony has been producing some delightful repercussions.

     Sometimes in the heat of the moment or the ongoing press of life, remembering all the great stuff we learned simply disappears. When anger rises, or disappointment wilts the bloom of connection, good intentions and good practices often sink into the muck of right now being right.

I haven’t written lately because we’ve been moving house and I feel tired and sick. Sore body, coughing, tired eyes. Boxes and disorganization surround me.

I’ve been waiting to feel blissful and expanded to post on the blog… and waiting…and waiting.

And the truth is the waiting is prolonging my agony. I read a quote earlier today: “Hell is wanting to be somewhere else.” I concur. While I’m feeling sick and tired and wanting my experience to be different, I’m suffering.