"I consider Gay and Kathlyn to be my teachers." -John Bradshaw
Stop Talking!!
Stop talking!!
Here are my top ten reasons to stop explaining about behaviour to your young children:
1. You could be having more fun tickling them
2. They’ve already figured it out for themselves
3. They’ve already moved on
4. They already know what you’re going to say
5. They’ve got a better, more creative, explanation
6. It is your issue, not theirs
7. They aren’t listening
8. You’ve said it all before
9. They’d rather be playing
10. You’d rather be playing
I’ve been noticing how much energy many parents waste on explaining situations and behaviour to their young children – especially those under seven years old. I think: Most parents I know are tired, why would they expend MORE energy than is necessary? : S
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating that you give up talking as a form of communication in general. I just want to recommend that you stop explaining things to young children.
You see, the premise that talking about problems creates change, is unfounded. Explaining to your young child ‘why their behaviour was inappropriate’ or ‘how they hurt that little boy’s feelings’ or ‘why kids are sometimes mean’ doesn’t handle the main issue. In fact, it actually often perpetuates the issue by asking the children to ‘think’ rather than feel.
Thinking instead of feeling is an adult epidemic. Let’s not infect our kids too.
So here’s my invitation to you. Instead talking and explaining, take a moment.
Pause.
Breathe and move your body until you feel some flow open up inside you, and then wait to see what happens next.
Let me know what you discover!
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"If children grew up according to early indications, we should have nothing but geniuses." -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Helen Daniels
Genius Coach (phone coaching available)
613.728.8433 (Eastern Standard Time)
http://www.helendaniels.com
http://www.easenflow.com
http://twitter.com/helendaniels
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