Unconditional Love

Submitted by Helen Daniels on Sun, 06/13/2010 - 6:17pm

I meet so many parents who claim in one sentence to love their children unconditionally and then, in the next sentence, place ‘conditions’ on their love. This is how it sounds: “I love my kid but… he needs to learn ‘mindfulness’” “she should eat better” “she should stay in school” “they have to improve their manners” “he should talk to me more.”

Can you REALLY love your children unconditionally and also want them to be different from how they are? I don’t think so.

Today I talked to a mom whose 16 year-old daughter has just left home. I invited the mom to stop calling her daughter and harassing her about how she’s making a big mistake, and instead to focus for 5 minutes per day (for 30 days) on all the things she loves and appreciates about her daughter. In short, I asked mom to generate unconditional love for her daughter. I expect that if she does this, it will transform their relationship. (Especially if she keeps it up for 30 days!!!)

The mom got it right away. She said: “You’re asking me to see my daughter for who she TRULY is – not the limited version of her I’ve been focused on.” YES.

In my experience, when I love people without conditions, they flourish.

Are you willing to, even for only a minute, love your child unconditionally? Exactly as s/he is right now? Bless you.

With love,
Helen
---------------
"If children grew up according to early indications, we should have nothing but geniuses." -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Helen Daniels
Genius Coach (phone coaching available)
613.728.8433 (Eastern Standard Time)

http://www.helendaniels.com
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