Creating, Sustaining, Destroying

      I’m about to land in several weeks with fewer items on the calendar after several months of seminars, project management and new collaborations. My activity fluctuations remind me of the cyclical rhythms that are an integral part of Hindu mythology. Their pantheon contains a god of creation, Brahma, a god who sustains, Vishnu, and a god whose role is to destroy, Shiva. I’ve found a well of relationship wisdom in these fundamental patterns.

     Creating allows something new to arise. It’s quite magical to have something arise from nothing. You can probably see why creating is so popular and also considered alien to most humans. I’m just envisioning the Sistine Chapel and that electric moment of creation where God’s finger illuminates Adam. Lest you think creating belongs only to the immortals, consider how many things you create in a single day: meals, emails, project ideas, collaborations with friends… Sustaining nurtures growth and fulfillment. Without sustainers the fires would have gone out, the pantries would be empty and the flowers would be dying or dead. Destroying opens space for completion and new creation. Destroyers empty the cup, clean out the closet and hand in the project. Those who cannot destroy may end up on a reality show called Hoarders.

      Each of us experiences these energies in daily, relationship and seasonal flows, and each of us can learn to balance the value of each phase in our lives.  Right now, Gay and I are just emerging from a big creation phase and are moving into the choices and attention that will nurture and sustain these new beginnings.

     At the start of our relationship Gay was a brilliant creator and destroyer. For example, he created the germ of the Spiritual Cinema Circle in a moment of meditation.  After twenty-one years as a university professor, he cleaned out his office in one hour. He didn’t like sustaining so much, since he doesn’t like to repeat himself. I, on the other hand, was been a master sustainer, while less skilled at creating and at the low end of the destroyer skill scale (e.g., I still had papers from college and took hours to clean out a cabinet with all the decisions and memories that were evoked).

     Our commitment to learn from each other has certainly expanded my ability to generate and initiate and also to see when it’s time to let something go. Gay has learned the pleasures of sustaining, for example, by watching how I tune into the small tasks around our home that maintain harmony, function and beauty. Appreciating your partner’s and friends’ skills and abilities in an area that’s unfamiliar to you is a great way to get your energy and osmosing flowing.  What rhythms are you involved with right now, and which of these phases is beckoning your attention and choices?