Joni L Davis
Joni Answers Top Questions
What vision do you have for your life and your coaching practice?
I passionately create opportunities for people to get to know who they are without their often unknown but ever present self-limiting beliefs. It is a fascinating and freeing journey once you know what to look for and what to do with what you find. I envision a world where defensiveness and struggle become ridiculous options for getting what we want.
The family I grew up in was just fine and we didn’t have much love being exchanged between us. We just did things to feel better and went through each day feeling like we didn’t matter that much to each other. I grew into adulthood with a whisper in my mind of my life motto: “Life feels flat and empty; you’re missing something. There is a better way to be in the world than the way you learned.” I began to explore everything I could discover about love and connection and relationships. What works and what doesn’t. My vision is to share what I’ve learned about love and relationships with as many people as I can touch in my lifetime, so they feel more loved and loving in their own lives and relationships. (This includes all relationships–with your Partner, with your Self, with God, with Food, with Addiction, with money, with your stepmom, with success, etc…)
I believe in the wisdom of people to discover their own answers once they know how. I’ve noticed this leads to instant integration, where as, understanding a mental concept that someone has explained to us, is difficult to incorporate into our daily lives. Most people get discouraged because they know what they want or are suppose to do but still aren’t doing it. Mental Concepts bonk up against old limiting beliefs every time and the results show us which one won. Instant integration creates the changes we are all seeking with very little effort because it cracks open old beliefs we didn’t even know we were carrying. Whoohoo…
What are the top three things you love about coaching?
- I love being present when my clients open into a new understanding! It happens all the time and it feels like a miracle each and every time. It’s always a revelation when any of us realize what was keeping us stuck. Why didn’t any one teach us how to do this when we were young?
- I love watching my clients release all of their verbal and physical flags. Flags are the body letting us know we have an incongruity going on about something–like wanting attention and feeling uncomfortable when we get it or saying no when we mean yes. People’s eyes relax, the tension leaves their face, and I can tell for the first time in a long time they feel comfortable in their own skin.
- I love not knowing what’s going to happen next! I find my clients surprise me and themselves when expectations and obligations and judgments are not on the playing field. There is a lot to explore that my clients never thought about exploring. It’s hard to find new answers if you’re only considering the same old tired questions–”Why did this have to happen?” I like to ask Gresstions. It’s a mashed up word that means Great Essence Questions. Gresstions detour around Old Stale Limiting Beliefs and contact the truth that’s been waiting there for the person all along.
Before I started coaching I …
was a personal trainer and basketball coach. I was also a professional student. I love learning, so I have four degrees!.
What makes you laugh?
Authenticity and Dogs playing on the Beach.
The legacy I want to leave behind is this:
That I got it! I believe the meaning of life is discovering the meaning we all give to whatever happens to us. Does the meaning I give to whatever happens to me cause me to expand or contract? If I contract I have an opportunity to learn something about myself that I didn’t previously know. I can discover a Belief I’ve held that I’m so attached too that I believe it is Reality. And I can choose whether I want to continue believing it. If I expand, I get to trust myself to create something new in the moment.
What were the greatest benefits you received from studying at the Hendricks Institute?
The biggest benefit for me was to be curious and inquire and examine and wonder! I learned that it is hard to be open to learning anything new if I am trying to fit anything new I learn into my old belief system. This happens every time I try to “figure something out.” When I’m curious and willing not to know, there are a few touchy seconds where I feel like “I got nothing,” and then in the very next moment something emerges from deeper inside me that is a fabulous idea from a whole new angle and it feels like a whole new being. I’ve learned to trust my ability to come up with my own great ideas by using this process!
The movie that inspired me most was_______.Why?
“Buck”. Why? Buck was the Horse Whisperer that Robert Redford based his movie on. Buck, because he was beaten mercilessly by his father when he was young, had a life motto of “you don’t have to break another beings spirit in order to get them to do what you want.” His past pain allowed him to view the world from a different angle than anyone else and it became his genius. He shook up our centuries old belief that there is only one way to “break” a horse, realizing you don’t have to break a horses spirit to get it to do what you want. I believe this process of discovering our life motto based on our past pain and noticing how it gives us our unique perspective of the way the world works can lead each of us to our genius. How exciting!
What brings you the most joy in your day to day life?
Learning to Love moment to moment. I think most folks are like me in that they thought they knew how to love but it’s really the idea of love that most of us were taught. For example, I ask myself, “Am I infusing love into this moment or am I waiting for something outside myself to reming me to feel love?” I invite myself to “Lead with Love” in all my interactions.
What ten things could you not do without?