Bio/My current passions:
I love being of service to others, and consider it a privilege when someone requests support. For the past 22 years I’ve had this honor with hundreds of clients who bravely moved beyond the gravitational pull of their outmoded habits and self-limiting beliefs to begin soaring towards fulfilling their deepest hopes and dreams. I facilitate by example through compassionately reflecting the truth, feeling my feelings, and honoring my own commitment to abide in Essence as I stand with my clients in their Quest. The foundation of my approach are The Conscious Loving Relationship principles, augmented by the Diamond Logos work of Essential Development of Faisal Muqqadam. I have a broad base of experience working with individuals, couples, groups, and workshops that I’ve self-produced or have served as a consultant for in-house organizational trainings.
What vision do you have for your life and your coaching practice?
My overall “vision” of my life and work is to simply embody Essence in all its unfolding expressions from one moment into the next, which is much easier said than done. But in doing so, inspire others to claim their connection to Source as well.
Over the past 22 years the forms my practice has taken have evolved as I have. It became apparent early on that I loved teaching what I myself was learning (sometimes just a few steps ahead). What hasn’t changed is my commitment to the path of lifelong learning, and a passion to live on my own creative edge while supporting others to claim and fully express their inherent, unique gifts.
Fortunately, the Conscious Loving Relationship (CLR) principles have served not only as the foundation for my counseling and coaching practice, I successfully embedded them into all my other relationship-based endeavors. They include 17 years of my very popular “Men Supporting Men’s” groups, and our “Opening to Love” couples groups, which I co-facilitated with my beloved, Ane. The CLR set skills integrated well with other areas of focus such as sacred sexuality, cultural diversity, conflict resolution, rites of passage, wilderness vision quests and authentic leadership trainings, which I’ve designed and led.
Currently Ane and I are manifesting our marriage-long (33 years!?!) vision of living in Hawai’i on the island of Maui. It’s true that, “wherever you go, there you are”, but I have to say that having Paradise as a day-to-day backdrop does put most mundane issues in their proper perspective! As we enter into our golden years together, we are enjoying transforming our island-style 1/2 acre into a lush sanctuary for the Soul. In the meantime, life’s a beach!
What are the top three things you love about coaching?
I love being of service to others, and consider it a privilege when someone asks for support. When coaching, I feel I am fulfilling a higher purpose in my life by being a sincerely interested and empathetic presence to another’s hopes and dreams.
For me coaching is most potent when led by example. I am called upon to be in alignment with telling the truth, in touch with my feelings, and honoring my sacred agreement to abide in Essence. As a happy consequence, a good session has the wonderful side effect of invoking Essence in both client and coach!
Of all the different jobs and careers I’ve had, coaching comes closest to being the best expression of my idea of “Right Livelihood”. Making a living sharing something I am passionate about while “being seen, celebrated, and paid handsomely for” in the service of others has certainly been a winning combination for me!
Before I started coaching I …
always had an itch, a deep curiosity for “how things worked”, and it could only truly be satisfied by my direct encounter with Life – been there, done that, and now, I know. This desire for the Truth energized my personal quest that has crossed the paths of many, many teachings, systems and traditions, both new and ancient. Some high points include my initiation into Sufism in the 70s, the Men’s Movement in the 80s, my trainings with the Hendricks in the 90s, and the Diamond Logos work of Faisal Muqaddam, since 2001. I also have much appreciation for what I received from Debbie Ford’s “The Shadow Process”, Angeles Arrien’s “Four-Fold Way”, and a year attending Barbara Brennan’s School of Healing.
Upon reflection, where each of these influences has intersected has been at the center of my open, undefended heart.
What makes you laugh?
When I “wake up” out of inflated self-importance and have a good laugh at my folly, or when I catch myself not in integrity with who I know myself to truly be.
When I witness and sense my dear Beloved stand in her magnificent Essence.
At a point of critical mass while dancing, when the layers of “my story” melt into the spontaneous, chaotic harmony of breath, movement and sweat, and once again… I remember!
Last but certainly not least, after giving “Benji” his bath and final towelling down, and then releasing him out of the bathroom… he is SO HAPPY!!! Expressing his UNBOUNDED puppy joy by running around and around the house literally bouncing on and off the walls and furniture! Ya-hoooo–Yippeee! I am ALIVE!!! Ha-ha-hah – it’s catching!
The legacy I want to leave behind is:
That through the contact I share in all my relationships, by our paths crossing, others will know and appreciate themselves more deeply and unconditionally.
Who are your top three people you would want to coach and why?
Anyone willing to transform themselves by learning to get into the driver’s seat of their lives, and risk driving off the beaten track of normality. I am especially interested if they are a younger person. Coaching addresses the generative void in our “modern” society that formal rites of passage once provided. Traditionally, initiated “elders” welcomed the souls of the next generation with the intention of passing on not only the practical, but more importantly, the Essential skills to live wholefully and competently by.
What were the greatest benefits you received from studying at the Hendricks Institute?
Authenticity. Through Gay and Katie’s examples, I was introduced to a level of relating on, that I suspected was possible, but had few personal role models, especially with anyone whom I considered an authority figure.
Intimacy. My undefended Self is so precious, and tender! It was life changing when I found him again buried beneath the layers of my past. But it’s never been the same since for myself or my marriage.
Embodiment. The core principles provide a way of being the world that supports and stabilizes integration of Essence into day-to-day living.
Co-creativity. Once we integrated the CLR principles into our marriage, we have in fact generated and manifested so much more together than either of us could have imagined by ourselves.
Learning to make the Big Move of shifting my attention away from “out there”, and back homeward to Self has also been life changing. This shift in orientation has disrupted my tendency to project out onto others, trying to control, or seek approval. I feel like I’ve grown up in a true sense.
The movie that inspired me most was_______.Why? The Book?
Any book or movie that has the Hero’s Journey story line as it’s basis. “The Matrix” stands out as a well researched, written and produced retelling of the archetypal impulse in each of us to respond to the “Call to Adventure” to return home, back to our Authentic Self. Recently I got a new copy of Daniel Lewinsky’s, “The Subject Tonight is Love”, because I wore out the first! Hafiz, a Sufi poet was called “The tongue of God” – read it and feel why!
What brings you the most joy in your day to day life?
Loving and being loved. Sharing an amazing life with my beloved. Supporting those in need in ways they can receive. Walking in step with my values. Walking on the beach with Ane and Benji. Swimming with my mer-pod. Creating something – anything! Painting, writing, cooking, gardening, remodeling, designing a music mix to dance to… Dancing for the pure pleasure of moving and breathing in my body. Dancing as a celebration for this gift of Life we’ve been given.
What ten things could you not do without?
Of course I would survive if I didn’t have the following, but here they are in the order of my priorities: Essence. Marriage. Family. Sangha (spiritual community). Dog love. A healthy, vibrant planet to co-habitate. Pure air, food and water. Outlets for service and give-back. Outlets to express love and appreciation. Outlets to express fun and creativity.