"I consider Gay and Kathlyn to be my teachers." -John Bradshaw
Relationship Lessons from Lucy: Getting Attention
Relationship Lessons From Lucy: Getting Attention
You may know that our beloved Persian/Himalayan, Lucy, has been our companion for over thirteen years now. She is a great communicator: patient, persistent (but not pesky). In fact, I’ve learned so much from Lucy about creating conscious relationships, I wanted to pass on her most powerful lessons.
In contrast to many humans, Lucy knows when she wants attention and when she doesn’t. She’s quite self-sufficient (for example, she only half-lies on us, not full-on parking on our bodies), but when Lucy wants attention she goes about getting it with focus and commitment. She uses a certain meow tone—higher and slightly longer—to let me know she’s coming in for contact. She approaches me rather than waiting for me to read her mind. She employs effective body language, including lying down in my pathway with all four legs in the air, jumping up next to me and13-pound body blocks. And she simply wants attention because she wants it. She doesn’t bring a problem for me to fix or sulk and expect me to come find her.
Lucy’s straightforwardness has polished up my attention strategies. I used to think I had to earn Gay’s attention with some worthy action, then I could go and get my reward. Several years ago when I was doing something peculiar to get his attention, like straightening up around where he was working, he paused, looked up, and said, “You know, you could just ask for attention.” Wow. A wake-up moment. I began emulating Lucy and noticing when I wanted attention and just going to ask for it. I must confess that sometimes I also lie down in Gay’s pathway with all four limbs in the air. He gets it.
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