"I consider Gay and Kathlyn to be my teachers." -John Bradshaw
Sexual kids
Sexual Kids
Last night my friend was relating a story about her 2 year old masturbating in his high chair outside while gazing at a 33 year old woman who had joined them for lunch. Both women were unnerved, and yet trying to be 'cool' with the whole thing. (they didn't want to scar him by asking him to stop)
This morning I woke up and thought about the story and wondered what would happen if they had been able to be totally honest with the toddler. I imagined something like this: "Wow, I see you pleasuring yourself and I notice that I've stopped breathing and I'm feeling scared right now." "I'm happy that you feel great and I notice that I want you to stop and I'm tying myself in a knot with this conundrum inside me." "I want to celebrate you as a sexual being and I also realize I have a lot of stories inside me about what is 'appropriate'" "I love you and appreciate you for bringing all these to light so that I can learn more about my limiting beliefs."
Kind of messy, and unresolved, but honest. And I think the 2 year old would connect with the love and honesty and the adults could loosen their grip too.
My most powerful learnings as a parent have been the ones where I just said exactly what was true, breathed, and let it be messy and unresolved. Pretty packages are rarely how authentic life is presented.
What do you think?
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"If children grew up according to early indications, we should have nothing but geniuses." -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Helen Daniels
Genius Coach (phone coaching available)
613.728.8433 (Eastern Standard Time)
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