What Myth Are You Playing Out?

     At the beginning of the movie “Romancing the Stone” a western scene unfolds, complete with the damsel in distress, the tobacco-spitting villain and the hero riding in to sweep his woman up onto the saddle (if you see this one-handed wonder, remember the warning to avoid trying such stunts at home).

     The screen shifts to a rather plain woman sitting at her typewriter exclaiming about what a great ending she created, and we realize we’ve peeked inside her fantasy world.  If only each of our myth-making machines were as clear!  From Sleeping Beauty to The Lone Ranger, myths surround us from infancy on and unconsciously shape  our relationship desires and choices more than most of us would admit.  These myths set us up for lives of longing and misinterpretation unless they are brought to light and replaced with authenticity and essence choices.

      When I see partners for relationship coaching or in a seminar, one of the first things we do is identify the myth they’ve been playing out. It may seem that the choices are endless, but they really filter down to a few extremely popular scenarios. It’s a Hollywood tradition to assume that there are two basic storylines: A person Goes on a Journey (e.g., the recent movie, “Up”), and A Stranger Comes to Town (particularly popular around Halloween). Here are some variations on these themes.

• Sleeping Beauty: that is, waiting to be awakened and rescued by the Stranger who comes to town(meanwhile sleeping through life in the prettiest pose available)

• The Terminator (a modern version of The Lone Ranger): the hero rescues not only the maiden but the whole world from the evilest villain on the current market.

• The Alien/Orphan/Misunderstood Genius (my version) wanders the earth looking for his/her tribe or to be beamed up, or both.

    Myths and movies can be wonderfully entertaining and sources of learning IF you can discern a movie from your life. But how can you do that when screens in advertising, television scripts, family traditions and rules tickle and tweak you constantly?  Well.  I’ve found the best myth buster and route to healthy relationships is body awareness. As I continue to get curious about my actual experience, my feelings, sensations and images, I have learned the difference between my authentic self and my myth self. It’s taken time to build this discernment, and the journey has been delicious along the way.  If you want to journey through your life making YOUR choices, here are some questions that build discerning:

• Where did I learn to see the situation this way?

• Is this familiar?

• Is this my voice or someone else’s?

• What do I REALLY want? (If I let go of this, would I still recognize myself?)

      You can discover more authenticity moves here. What questions bring you into humming harmony with your deepest self?