"I consider Gay and Kathlyn to be my teachers." -John Bradshaw
Things I Learned from my Cat: That's Enough, and It's Nothing Personal
Lucy has such a clear experience of what she wants and exactly how much she wants. She can be ecstatically purring and the next moment pops up and relocates, still purring. Or I might be petting her in a way I know she likes, and suddenly she squawks, “that’s enough.”
I used to interpret these expressions personally and either take offense or withdraw into a story about not being quite right. Perhaps she doesn’t love me anymore. Maybe if I try another way of petting her… In the middle of one of these reveries I realized I do the same thing with Gay sometimes. When he’s finished with something he simply leaves, stops or goes off to do something else. I had thought, “gosh, if I were really enough (exciting, desirable, smart, etc.), he’d still be here interacting with me. He left, therefore I’m deficient.” This little conversation went on under my awareness radar for some time before I caught on.
I’m willing to see and respect Lucy’s unique rhythms without judgment, how about for Gay? Actually, how about for me?! Do I actually tune in and make decisions from my inner experience of where I want to be and for how long? I now call this the Authentic Presence Move. In recent years I’ve refined my practice of this move, especially at social gatherings. At a party over the weekend I flowed toward people whose faces looked open and curious, interacted as long as my inner pleasure thermostat hummed, then easily moved on. In the past I would get trapped in social patterns that I inherited (e.g., I just started talking with them, I CAN’T just walk away) As a result, I left the party feeling even more energized than when I arrived. And I even met some new people. Shocking.
How do YOU know, “that’s enough"? How do you know, "I really want/like that!"? If you tune in to your body sensations and inner experience, they have worlds to open for you. All our live seminars explore the benefits of body wisdom, especially the series coming up in January. Click HERE for more information.
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