"I consider Gay and Kathlyn to be my teachers." -John Bradshaw
What's The Value Of Responsibility Anyway?
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Relationship conflicts, marriage problems, even hassles with business associates in your life, generally boil down to how much skill you have in taking responsibility. Or not. When we start talking about responsibility in our seminars and media appearances, people often get what I call the “responsibility glaze over,” that blank look and held breath that let’s me know I’ve ventured into the zone of the unknown.
Here’s the big news about responsibility. It’s NOT about blame or burden. It’s not about whose fault things are or who gets to feel heavy and crimped. Conscious relationships thrive on responsibility. Say what?! Yes, taking responsibility leads to juiciness and creativity.
Imagine that you are inside a pinball machine. If you think that the world does things to you, you get spun, clanked, banked and dunked by whatever force is currently whizzing through. When you step into responsibility you become the frame of the game, where you get to see the bigger picture and how you are contributing to what’s happening. You choose to take responsibility rather than being at the effect of the choices others are making. Taking responsibility really reclaims and harnesses your creative juice by choosing rather than by reacting and blaming.
Responsibility is like the law of attraction in this way. As you claim your creativity and see that you have been dreaming up the results you’re seeing around you, your inner choice to wonder ignites a different paradigm. You start living from the inside out by noticing that you continually invent your world and creating different choices in situations that haven’t produced connection and joy. If you’d like to see and hear more about this skill, check out the 5th Magic Move HERE.
Here are some phrases I’ve found incredibly valuable in learning to take healthy responsibility.
• How did I contribute to this?
• How can I respond differently to effect a different result?
• How is this whole thing familiar?
• Hmmmm (making a pleasant humming sound), I wonder how this could be completely resolved?
What response-ability questions have created big positive shifts for you?
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