"I consider Gay and Kathlyn to be my teachers." -John Bradshaw
Moving Opens Flow Too
Moving Opens Flow Too
When I'm with someone who is expressing their feelings (especially anger and sadness), I'm only really helpful to them if I'm willing to be present to my own feelings. Like yesterday, when my colleague was really upset about some feedback he received.... In the past, I would have tried to 'make him feel better' by saying nice things to him (or mean things about the other person) and tried to talk him out of his feelings.
If I did this long enough, I would start to feel tired, my jaw would get tight, and my friend would never really seem to feel much better either. Of course, I wouldn't have been breathing nor moving much during that time.
The result? We both would have felt 'bad'. Now that I've learned how amazing it is to feel great, I want to feel great all the time! And so, when my friend came to me with his angry story yesterday, I focused on listening to him AND flowing my own feelings.
I took conscious full breaths, gently and deeply and I kept on making micro-adjustments in my spine and hips. (try that now -- simply move your shoulders, neck, back, hips in tiny little increments) This allowed me to notice my own anger and to keep that flowing smoothly, while be present to my friend.
Again, no fixing, just listening and breathing and moving.
If you were watching, you would have heard me say: "Yes. Uhummmm. I hear you. Yes. Yes, you didn't like that too much... etc." Simple on my part and I get to feel GREAT!
As for my friend? His anger diffused quickly, he saw that he was making a bigger deal than necessary, thanked me for listening, and went away, a little lighter in his step.
Really, it can be that easy. Try it, don't take my word for it. And let me know what happens...
love Helen
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"If children grew up according to early indications, we should have nothing but geniuses." -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Helen Daniels
Genius Coach (phone coaching available)
613.728.8433 (Eastern Standard Time)
http://www.helendaniels.com
http://www.easenflow.com
http://twitter.com/helendaniels
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