Parenting Involves a LOT of Breathing

Submitted by Helen Daniels on Tue, 02/02/2010 - 8:12pm

Parenting Involves a LOT of Breathing

I watched my 4-year-old ice skate for the first time this weekend. Her first time on single blades. She is a confident little girl and refused to hold my hand, or to push an ‘assistive device’ for new skaters.

I tried unsuccessfully to give her advice a few times. She told me: “I KNOW WHAT TO DO.”

And she did. She fell plenty. And she wasn’t really gliding the ‘right way’, but man oh man, she was so proud of herself. Grinning from ear to ear, directing me to chase her, to let myself be chased, or some other game she was making up on the spot where I went to jail in the hockey net.

The other piece about all this is that we don’t have a helmet for her. She is the only child at the rink without a helmet. No exaggeration. I have a whole other story about helmets and kids that I won’t bore you with here, but we have consciously chosen not to purchase her a helmet.

And I do worry about her hitting her head, but you know, she never comes close. Instinctively she knows not to land on her head – go figure.

So what do I do instead of giving advice, coaxing, praising, or worrying?

I breathe. I breathe breathe breathe, laugh at myself, and breathe some more. Life is unfolding. I am safe.

---------------
"If children grew up according to early indications, we should have nothing but geniuses." -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Helen Daniels
Genius Coach (phone coaching available)
613.728.8433 (Eastern Standard Time)

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breathing X 10

Submitted by Claire on Sat, 02/13/2010 - 10:06pm.

Laughing at the perfect timing for me to read your blog, Helen. Had a similar experience of letting go and breathing, breathing , breathing with Isla today at the playground. I realized my fear of her falling was keeping her from expressing her full independence, so I let go and she played on the equipment without her "mommy net". Soothed also by my friend's story of her son, who is the same age, jumping from a 5 foot platform and being just fine. Whew... breathing still.

Thanks for sharing what I see as your brave explorations in mothering.

Love your question, "So what do I do instead of giving advice, coaxing, praising, or worrying?"

Claire

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Parenting Involves a LOT of Breathing

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