Seven Principles and Seven Magic Moves Take You to Conscious Loving and Super-Conscious Loving
FIRST MAGIC MOVE:
Make a heartfelt commitment to the other person that you’re willing to go beyond all your ego-defenses to full unity. At the same time, make a commitment to going all the way with your creative expression. Then observe the emergence of your defensive barriers every day. Report them honestly, but don’t take them seriously. In fact, ego defenses disappear quickly when you turn them into play
SECOND MAGIC MOVE:
Make a heartfelt commitment to learning something new from every relationship interaction. Notice your defensive moves as they emerge, and gradually transplant wondering and truth-speaking in place of defensiveness.
THIRD MAGIC MOVE
Notice your feelings and thoughts, and speak about them to your partner. If there are things you’ve done or feelings you’re afraid to talk about, make sure to speak about those to your partner. Get familiar with your habitual listening-filters and practice summarizing what the other person is saying with no distortion. Practice acknowledging the feelings and desires embedded in communications.
FOURTH MAGIC MOVE
Monitor each agreement you make very carefully, making sure you want to make it in the first place. Once you make an agreement, fulfill it impeccably or change it consciously by communicating with the relevant person.
FIFTH MAGIC MOVE
In any situation, claim responsibility for having created it the way it occurred. Wonder about how and why you might have wanted it to occur that way. Speak in empowered language rather than victim language (“I choose to go to the dentist” rather than “I have to go to the dentist.” “I take responsibility for eating so that I have a healthy body,” rather than “Why did you buy that huge bucket of buttered popcorn? You know I can’t resist it.”)
SIXTH MAGIC MOVE
Invent new ways to appreciate the other person every day, and speak appreciations frequently. Live inside questions such as, “What is my partner’s true essence and how can I invite it forth?” And “What could I appreciate about my partner at this moment?”
SEVENTH MAGIC MOVE
Love as much as you can from wherever you are.